no.

It may be that I just need to find a new bus stop, but the other day I got another “what are you?” This time its a visibly intoxicated gentleman who came and sat down and started to make conversation with me.

“what is your name?

“Sarah”

“Are you Italian?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“Oh you don’t want to tell me”

…random talking - me trying everything to appear not interested (which wasn’t hard)… him telling me that he is from Africa - me not answering… “you must be chinese” … his bus arriving and me being happy.

I have never denied someone the answer to the annoying question, but I have decided to start with those who are visibly intoxicated and work my way up to sober and “just wondering” types.

The first time that I have refused answering this question to a stranger admitedly felt a little wierd. I felt somewhat rude (even through I strongly believe its rude to ask out of the blue) But (!) it was very liberating at the same time.

I was talking to my boyfriend who was surprised that it happened again. (see the last post in this subject) and his take on it is that he was just asking me a question to get a converstation going so that later he could ask me for money or something. I think he thought it was kind of rude of me not to tell the guy because afterall he was just trying to make converstion. He wasn’t thinking that that the person being asked might mind answering that question.

I think we will always see this differently. He happily would answer the question when someone asks him where he is from or if they were to ask him what he is where as I look on the question with a great amount of suspition. Why is this person asking me this right out of the gate? Why does this stranger want to know? What purpose will this serve for the rest of this conversation? Does this person want to bond with me? Do they think I look like someone in their family and therefore may be of their heriage? Does it matter who is asking the question (assuming the question is being asked out of the blue or within a few minutes of conversing)? Is it more suspect when a well educated person asks me than when a drunk guy asks me? And is there a difference in intent when it is a non-American person asking as opposed to an American born person?

hmmmm questions questions…..