So what are you?

1. Are you Indian?
2. Are you Filipino?
3. Are you Chinese?
4. Are you Polynesian?
5. Are you from the the outback (Australian Aborigional)?
6. Let me guess, I bet I can guess where you are from, Chinese? Filipina? Spanish?

The question comes up from time to time. And in between those times I sort of forget why it bothers me when people ask it. Anyone who knows me knows I would talk about race and ethnicity all day if I could. To me its a very interesting topic that is so subjective in how it affects people, but at the same time there are some very real structures in place that some how seem to disappear into our social landscape. So why, one might ask, when a total stranger asks me about it at a bus stop, or in cab (see #6 aka the cab driver), do I shut down, or feel offended? Why do I feel wierd about someone elses curiosity? And why do I not just answer, the person is probably just being nice right? I am proud of who I am right?

WELL. conversations like that (people asking why it matters to me) make me sit down and think about it. What I have come to realize is that its not a persons curiosity about me as a person that makes me unconfortable in general. If someone were to come up and inquire as to what college I went to, or where I grew up, or if I was interested in some type of art, i would probably not be offended.

It’s when someone comes and asks you that question, someone you don’t know, and that is the first thing he or she asks you, you know that it is something that is clearly on their mind. And these individuals instead of getting to know you first than asking it in the context of some conversation or letting you reveal yourself naturaly and organicly feel the need to know that one piece of information before interacting with you further. And the assumption that I make is that if this information is so vital to you, then it is clearly going to affect the way you interact with me. And if that is the case then I get scared.

I often feel ambushed by the question. If its not someone I know, and there is not context of racial/ethnic discussion, or discussion of where everyone was born or grew up, it it is just out of place. Clearly this is an issue in my life that I put alot of thought into and when I feel like discussing I can do so at great length, and love to do so in the proper context.

What also bothers me about this question, is that there is usally no graceful way to decline to answer the question. If a person asks you a question out of his or her general curiosity, and they don’t see the harm in it, then they don’t understand why you would hesitate or resist answering the question. And so if you just dont answer the question then you are the rude one. Same thing if you try to come back with a snappy answer to a stupid question. What is worse is when you can’t just leave the area (again see #6). When I can’t just walk away and I feel pressed to answer or its obvious that they will keep asking me, then a hurried answer is given. And in those situations it still feels like I am just throwing out some labels. … well I was born in Guatemala but grew up here…. I am Guatemalan and American…. My mom is from Iowa and my dad is from Guatemala… I am Latina…. I am an American Latina…I am a mixed Latina…. how do you answer that question and convey who you feel you are in just a few words. And the problem is that that label, that summery of that part of myself, while it is something that I think about quite often, is not the only way that I want to be defined or summerized. There are other parts of myself that I feel are just as important, like for instance my art, and my academic insterests.

So until it becomes a non issue to more people (who don’t get asked the question on a semi regular basis) I will continue to keep track of when where and how the question comes up and try to formulate a good response that not only indicates to the asker that barring some sort of miscommunication it is not appropriate to ask strangers on the street “what are you?” just to appease their curiosity.

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